I just had a wondrous session with a coaching client. It was about loss. I totally related, because I,too, have had a lot of loss in my life. A daughter died, businesses failed, a divorce, family that won’t speak, time lost, pets that have died. We all have loss. It’s normal, right?
Well, yes, however, how we perceive it can be different and we can literally unwrap a beautiful gift in the center of any loss experience. When I asked my client to define loss for me, she said “I’ve had so many losses…it is something that is gone forever”. “How does that feel to you?” I asked “normal”, was the reply. Yes, we know intellectually that loss is normal, a part of life. Things are born, they die, we move, we change… normal.
However, I will never look at loss the same again after this session! (This is why I love what I do, I always get massive benefits by helping others….win/win for sure!). Here is a new perspective for you: you can forge a new relationship with anything you have “lost”. You can re-access the love, the joy, the thrill of what you had with that person, thing or place anytime you want, it is woven into the fabric of your life and it is a part of you. You most likely have the juicy, wonderful center all wrapped up in guilt and pain and don’t let yourself access the gem within. You don’t want to feel the pain or guilt that you attached to that lass, and so you miss out on enjoying the wonders you gained from it.
Everything is eternal (even you), it simply moves all the time, here, there, in, out…weaving a beautiful, fluid tapestry of your life. If you rise above and look at the big picture you will see that your experience with that person or event, that made it so powerful to you, was filled with love. The depth of your grief and pain wat a loss is a reflection of the depth of love and joy you experienced. That is a good thing, not a bad one.
The time you had with a person who lifted you up, loved you, made you feel fantastic and they are now moved on, whether they died or moved, is still a part of you. It is interwoven into the cells, thoughts, feelings of you. It helped create who you are now. That is a beautiful thing. My client had a beautiful person and memory wrapped up in guilt for past ‘shoulda, coulda, woulda’s” and then wrapped again in pain of loss. So now she had no access to the wonders and beauty and love that that person agve her.
Unwrap your painful experiences, your losses and re-discover the gem within. It is what the whole experience was all about anyway. The love. You CAN forge a new relationship with your losses, you can appreciate and enjoy them and let the pain and regrets go. Why not? Doesn’t that sound like more fun? I’m going to!